Tales of an unlikely group
by Semei-yuukei
Summary: A group of pokemon banded together solely for personal gains,but soon realise they can't get along!Logan the mismagius is always stuck with cleaning,Christian the umbreon is always relied on for tech knowledge,and Erika makes the others want to murder her
1. The infiltration

So far, this is my most well done pokemon fanfic, I think. So please read, and how about reviewing while you're at it? Do it for a…a…a free virtual cookie!

**Chapter 1: The infiltration**

"It's all set for action?"

"Affirmative, my lady. We have quite a bit of 'fireworks' to expect."

Even though Cordelia the kirlia was hearing these words over her handheld transceiver, her telepathic powers told her the umbreon on the other end was smirking mischievously at the mention of 'fireworks'. Crouching behind a low wall, the kirlia was completely concealed as she peeked furtively at the Rocket hideout in front of her. Christian, the umbreon, should have no problems making it out during the time limit, for after all, he was a trained professional.

Sure enough, she soon spotted the black shadow of an umbreon fleeing the building, running for all he was worth towards a large pillar and ducking behind it for protection.

Not a moment too soon, too. Without warning, the building erupted into flames, huge columns of smoke trailing towards the sky, and a shrill fire alarm going off in the distance. Cordelia grinned darkly, that'd teach those crooks not to mess with her. As the kirlia turned her back on the burning building, she lifted the handheld transceiver to her mouth and pressed the button. "Excellent work, team. It's time to regroup at base. Over and out." The air around the psychic shimmered as she teleported away.

She arrived in front of a seemingly normal camper van, but Cordelia knew better. Just for a moment, she thought she saw a pair of beady eyes peeking out at her from the vehicle window. The kirlia sighed.

"Logan, don't give me that buneary-in-the-headlights expression. It's just me." She muttered, stepping into the van.

As she dropped onto one of the chairs at the back, the mismagius floated towards her with a cup of coffee. Cordelia looked up. "Thanks, Logan." she said, taking a sip.

"I assume the mission went well?" inquired Logan.

"Yes, very well indeed. We even left a little token of us for their remembrance."

"It should be safe to say we made their hate list."

"I wouldn't want it any other way." grinned Cordelia darkly.

Just then, the door of the van flew open, and an umbreon delicately stepped in. "This mission was a cinch," Christian muttered, "now, where'd Erika go?"

"Still fleeing back here, I expect." said Logan, handing Christian some milk in a doggie bowl. Christian scowled.

"How many times must I tell you this? I'm not some human's pet. Doggie bowls are hardly appropriate for a sophisticated professional such as myself."

"Christian, do not make me go into the time you tried to hold a cup in your front paws. We nearly lost all our data in the computer from that incident." growled Cordelia.

The umbreon went silent and lapped the milk.

Then he lifted his head and cocked it to the side. "I hear Erika. She's coming." Christian nodded, going back to his milk.

Sure enough, the door opened again a few minutes later, and an elegant dragonair flew in. "Is today our fifteenth streak of successful missions?" she asked.

"Affirmative, my good lady." Christian responded cheerfully, milk dripping from the damp fur on his chin. The dragon type stared at him, registering the milk, the dripping wet fur.

"Still stuck on doggie bowls, I see." Erika chuckled.

"Don't make me murder you."

"Well, I see everyone is now here," observed Logan, "so I'll fire up the illusion and we can escape this hellhole."

Now that they had regrouped, Cordelia got a chance to sit back and settle into her part of the van. She never failed to marvel at the seeming innocence of the camper van's exterior, when, in truth, the interior was loaded with high tech tracking equipment, a personal GPS system, a perfectly organised database of their cases, and even luxurious furniture for the comfort of the Pokémon. Oh, and the gaming console. Always that.

But of course it wouldn't do for any humans passing the van to see a Pokémon at the wheels, right? And she couldn't be expected to drive it with her psychic powers, it'd tire her out and alarm the humans when they saw the wheel turning all by itself. So Logan the mismagius would stick a human illusion in the driver's seat whenever they had to travel, which is what he was doing now. And as to how they got their equipment and handheld transceivers…well, that'd best be left unsaid. However, there had been many reports of robberies from electrical appliance shops during that month, though.

"What's our next job, Cordelia?" asked Christian. He'd just finished his bowl of milk, and mismagius was taking it to the sink to clean.

"Well, Team Magma's hired us to dish out some dirt on Aqua. So it's off to Hoenn to infiltrate Aqua bases." replied the kirlia.

"What's the pay like?"

"Pretty good. Several hundreds of thousands to find out Aqua's next project." smirked the psychic type.

"Didn't both teams disband after the Sootopolis incident, though?" questioned Erika.

"Apparently not. Though both parties' bosses fled, the commanders have stepped up to take charge."

"So shall we alter course to Hoenn?" asked Logan.

"Affirmative. But let's use the camper van to travel for a while, I'm not fully revitalised yet to teleport us all there."

Cordelia frowned, a certain matter crossing her mind. She had almost forgotten it, thanks to the mission. "By the way, Christian," she turned to the umbreon, "did you manage to retrieve the…'thing'?"

Back at the Rocket hideout, the rockets were looking forlornly at each other, and at their ruined base. The inferno had been too massive to quell, and the building was razed nearly to the ground. In the masses of Rocket troops, an impatient figure pushed its way to the grunt in charge of the building.

"Where is 'three'? I demand an answer now!" yelled the man.

The grunt hung his head. "I'm sorry, Lieutenant Al…'three' went missing after the explosion…

The lieutenant's ears turned purple. "_What_? You bumbling idiot! You know how important that project was for Team Rocket, for the boss…" Here, he bit his lip. "The boss' last wish before he went missing was for Team Rocket to successfully complete the 'three' project…after 'two' had failed. The commanders had promised him that they would complete the experiment even after he went missing, but now…"his face hardened, "the 'three' project is gone, and I don't know how to answer to the commanders. They won't let me off if they found out what happened. This is all _your _fault!" he yelled, slapping the grunt, the force of the impact sending him to the ground.

Before Lieutenant Al had a chance to do any more, another grunt came running up with something shining in his hand. "Sir, please look at this!"

"What?" snapped the lieutenant, whipping around to face the unfortunate grunt.

"This was found in the r- rubble of our base." stuttered the grunt, holding out the shining, pointed thing in his hand.

A mini dagger, like a sort of dart.

"Cordelia." growled Lieutenant Al . "It's always her, isn't it? Just when everything goes smoothly and I can take a breather, that thing and her little daggers show up without fail. Why, I swear that one day I'll…." His eyes shifted back to the grunt. "Hm. Perhaps you can redeem yourself. If you wish to atone for your mistake, I want you to find that kirlia and do _whatever it takes to destroy her._ Got that?"

The grunt nodded idiotically.

Al sighed. "Ugh, it's not like you actually understand me anyway…what was the boss thinking when he hired you?" He waved his hand dismissively. "Go now. Make sure what I said actually sticks in your head."

The grunt nodded dumbly and left the room.

"Idiot." muttered the Lieutenant.

Once the grunt made sure he was out of sight, his eyes lost their blur expression, and he shiftily backed up into a deserted corridor. There, he pulled out a handheld transceiver from his pocket.

"Cordelia? It's me." He muttered into the device.

"_Hello, Mason. What's the situation like over there? Do they know that we did it yet?"_ Cordelia said to him through telepathy.

"They do. They also aware of the loss of 'three'. However, they instructed me to hunt you down. Looks like we'll have to be enemies, huh?"

"_Fraid' so. You did well, nonetheless. I guess we should be expecting some 'surprise attacks' soon, huh?"_

"Yeah. I'll continue to inform you of any developments."

"_Very well. I shall expect you to update me of their movements."_ The kirlia replied. Then, the call was cut off as Cordelia hung up.


	2. The strange organism

Chapter 2: The strange organism

"Here it is." said Christian, setting down a transparent cylinder with a sort of organism floating in the middle, in the midst of greenish-yellow liquid.

"This is the 'thing'?" asked Erika, looking on in wonder at the strange life form.

"Yeah. I'd managed to pull this from the laboratory without alerting them." He frowned. "Well, except for this one guy, but I dunked him on the head. Team Rocket needs guards that aren't complete slobs. Anyway, I believe the 'thing' was extremely important to them, though it is still primitive and undeveloped. But if we put our sources into maturing this life form," the umbreon paused, "there's no telling what it could-and would- do to strengthen out ranks." Christian gestured at the organism. "Look, you can already see the stumps that might one day be paws and hind legs, and it seems to be emitting some kind of faint pink glow. You can even notice it through the liquid it's floating in."

"A very interesting specimen indeed." murmured Cordelia. "And how do you propose we mature it?"

"We go back to that Team Rocket hideout. They would have retreated back to the main base by now, no doubt, so it'll be clear. I know the place was burned badly, but any machine with enough juice would make it through the blast. We locate the laboratory. At this point, Cordelia uses her psychic powers to figure the blueprints for that machine."

"What, you want us to make another one?" said Logan disbelievingly. "That'll take us months to build…heck, maybe even years. Plus, anything that powerful can't be small enough to fit into this camper van. And it'll produce loads of dust. I'm the one that does all the cleaning here, you know?"

"I'm not done yet." said Christian impatiently. "Before I was so rudely interrupted, what I was about to say was Cordelia should copy out the blueprints and pass them on to me. I will then do some studies on it, and work out another blueprint for a smaller machine which still has the juice to do the job _and_ not produce any dust whatsoever." He concluded, turning triumphantly to Logan on the last part. "After all, I'm not the group's technology expert for nothing." Christian smirked.

"Well thought out, Christian." approved the kirlia. Christian planted a scowl on his face.

"I don't need any compliments from the likes of you. Remember, we're all here solely for personal benefits."

Cordelia nodded. "Silly me, how could I forget." she said rather flatly.

"A change of course again then, my lady?" muttered Logan.

"Fraid' so."

Upon arriving at the sorry sight of what used to be the Team Rocket hideout, the team, on a whole, felt mighty pleased with their work and the visual of the charred building. "Now that's one banged up building!" said Christian admiringly.

"Shush," whispered the kirlia. "We don't know if there are any more grunts here, so be quiet and focus on the mission. Christian bristled a bit at the scolding, but kept silent.

They passed through countless blackened passages, not a single sign of intelligent life to be seen. After scouting out all the rooms to make sure none of the enemy were still present, they finally arrived at what used to be the laboratory. "Which machine was it, Christian?" asked Erika.

The little umbreon bounded through lines of charred equipment, stopping at a very prominent, massive machine with pincer-like things in the centre of the room. Erika shook her head.

"Of course. It's always the big, scary machine in the middle, isn't it? That's so cliché. Couldn't Team Rocket be more original?"

"Cordelia," said Christian, deciding to ignore the dragonair, "please come here to scan out its blueprints."

"Don't you need paper to copy it out?" inquired Logan.

"Teleportation."

"Ah."

A sheet of paper and a pencil materialised in Cordelia's hands, and she focused her mind on the interior of the machine. While her eyes glowed a dark, eerie purple, her pencil flew over the paper, and the umbreon studies the blueprints as it slowly came into being.

"Ooh, very interesting." murmured Erika, peeling over his shoulder.

"Quiet. You don't know what you're talking about." chided Christian.

Soon, the blueprints were complete. Christian took it, spreading it out on the ground with his little black paws. "Hmm, it _is_ pretty interesting…but complicated. One of the most complex designs I've seen compared to those when I worked for an engineer"- he shook his head, as if shaking off the memory -"but I should be able to figure it out in about…three weeks' time."

"Three weeks?" said Cordelia incredulously. "Will the 'thing' even last that long without any technological help?"

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about that. It's tough. It'll survive."

The kirlia stood motionless for a while, and then nodded her head. "Very well." Now we shall go back to base. Christian, when we're there you are to begin the new blueprint immediately."

"You don't need to order me around, you're not my mom. Neither are you my mistress." The dark type muttered.

Upon returning to the camper van, they all went about their work. Christian immediately booted the computer for some research, Cordelia drew out a strategy for their Aqua break in, and Logan…well, he did what he did best: housework. Erika, being the ignorant prick she was, got out the gaming console and did absolutely no work. Cordelia looked up from her drafts.

"Erika," she called sharply, "perhaps you've been blind to the fact that some of us are actually working hard"-

"Yeah, hang on a sec. Lemme finish this race first."

The psychic frowned, and her eyes drifted to the power cord. Getting up from her work desk, she crossed the room and pulled out the plug. "Enough." She said, eyes sparkling dangerously. When her back was turned, Erika stuck her tongue out at the kirlia's departing form.

Cordelia entered the little kitchen. Logan was using his dark powers for manipulating a knife to chop up carrots for some soup, and looked up upon her arrival. "Anything the matter?" he asked.

"Yes, I'd like to tell you something. Christian, myself, and the blue slacker by the gaming console"- here she assumed a sarcastic tone- "will be very busy with various assignments, thus giving us insufficient spare time to monitor the 'thing's progress. Therefore, I would like to leave it in your care."

The mismagius went quiet. Christian slipped in for a bowlful of milk, observing the conversation as he tried to bite through the milk carton.

"I see that I am to be the babysitter," muttered Logan. "However, if that is what you wish, fine. In return, you could perhaps appreciate my cooking just a little?"

Cordelia peeked behind him to the simmering pot of blood red liquid, with fish heads bobbing in the foul mixture, and her stomach turned. "Um, yeah, it's really tasty…" she muttered, backing out of the room. Behind the ghost, a certain umbreon was pretending to stagger around, gagging like he was about to choke and making retching noises at the soup. As the mismagius turned around to discover the source of the noise behind him, Cordelia fled from the room. "Bleurgh." She shuddered, recalling the disgusting liquid. Then she groaned. Damn.

She was going to have to eat that for lunch.


End file.
